k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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