She is in my trunk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize