ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
