Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
