my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
