please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
