Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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