Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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