Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
