Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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