I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize