The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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