GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize