If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
