I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
