Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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