I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
