i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
