oh god the rape fog is back!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize