so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
