I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
