I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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