I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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