My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
