well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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