Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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