she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
