I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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