Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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