I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
