I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize