question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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