Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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