When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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