Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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