I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
