I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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