Swine flu is the new snow day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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