we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
