You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
