Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
