hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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