its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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