Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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