Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
