dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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