i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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