I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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