The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
