I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
