I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
