he told me I talked like a deaf person
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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