Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
