Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
accomplished twins. life is a go
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
