i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
