I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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