wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
